Inefficiently Releasing Energy

When it comes to doing life, you are bound to run across situations that make you emotional.

You're human. This is life.

When I say ‘emotional’, most people think it to mean an episode where a person breaks down crying.

What I mean in this case is the emotional response that happens when a situation happens.

Say you're driving to work and someone signals to get into your lane.

You intentionally slow down to let them in.

They pull into your lane and continue driving without gesturing ‘thank you’.

You think they're rude or ungrateful for your kindness so you feel irritated.

You might react with an eyeroll, throw your hands up, and/or add a really sarcastic and irritated “ugh, you're welcome, jerk“.

(Give or take on the words.)

You continue the drive to work only now you have the energetic charge from the situation humming in your body.

Depending on how much of a drive is left, it might be enough time to diffuse it a bit, but it’s still there humming in the background.

You get to work and as someone naturally asks “hey, how's it going?" you immediately tell them what happened.

You relive the experience only now you have someone else to experience it with (whether they want to or not).

Once you’ve told the story, you feel better and can ‘finally put it all behind you’ and ‘go about your day’ because you got it ‘off your chest’.

Everyone can relate to this because we all do this.

When you pull the pattern for this particular situation, it looks like this:

• Driver doesn’t gesture ‘thank you’ > You think they’re rude and ungrateful > You feel irritated > You hold onto the irritation until you can release it by telling someone else > You get an opening to tell someone > You release the irritation > You feel better.

The interesting thing is that no one stops to question this pattern or why you cope this way in the first place.

When you zoom out on the pattern, you’ll see this:

• Situation happens > You think X about the situation and feel Y > When you feel Y, you release it by talking/saying something about it.

This is a pattern that follows you into every situation you encounter.

Depending on the thoughts and feelings a given situation brings up for you, will determine if you carry out the rest of the pattern.

Because there are times you won’t feel compelled to tell someone what happened.

The point being, this is a pattern that exists that most don’t even realize they have.

This is a pattern your body registers as comfortable.

But, because most people aren’t even aware of this, they end up using their limited energy to inefficiently release the energy created from their daily situations.

This is why:

• people end up in burnout.

• partners can’t reconcile their differences.

• parents are at their wits end with their kids.

• people need to escape life using whatever device or substance to help.

So, how do you solve this?

It starts by answering these questions openly and honestly:

• Do you want to disrupt the pattern? Y/N

• Are you willing to disrupt the pattern? Y/N

• Are you ready to disrupt the pattern? Y/N

• What uncomfortable feelings are you willing to feel to expand the pattern?

• Why is expanding this pattern important?

• Why is expanding this pattern necessary?

Then, you get to putting in the reps to build a new skill by noticing where it shows up and making small shifts to the way you respond to the situation.

Imagine having the energy from the driving situation and you don’t release it.

When you do this, it feels really uncomfortable because it’s too big to hold on your own.

Every part of your being needs a way to release the discomfort.

It’s like having to keep a secret or sitting in the suspense of waiting.

It’s nerve-racking!

And, that’s because a disruption to the pattern feels uncomfortable, which means your brain already detects it as a threat to your personal safety… even though you aren't in immediate, physical danger.

But, unless you know this is going on, you'll continue to carry out this pattern without question simply because you don't know it even exists.

And, it’s not to say that if something bothers you that you shouldn’t say anything about it.

What I’m referring to is the unconscious habit of needing to talk about everything that bothers you without discerning if it’s necessary to spend your time and energy that way.

Friend, there is another way to handle the irritations and frustrations of life besides offloading it onto others in order to find relief and energy.

And, I’m here for every step of it!

Boldly,

Lynne xo