Resistance In Business

Each day, I have things I need to do to grow my business.

And, each day, I never feel like doing any of it.

So, if I let those feelings lead my actions, then I'll have a business that doesn't grow.

The resistance in building a business is real.

But, if you want to see results in your business, then you need to do those things even when you don’t feel like doing any of it.

This isn't Earth-shattering information, but growing your business requires you to do work you're not comfortable doing.

In it’s simplest form, the work your business needs you to do is:

• Connect with people

• Let them know what you do

• Demonstrate your expertise

• Offer a next step

All businesses follow this process.

If yours doesn't, or you're unsure how these four simple steps can work for your business, schedule some time with me so I can show you how I help you do this.

Regardless of what you define as the “work" your business needs, the bottome line is if you aren't doing it, your business won’t grow.

Another way of saying it is if you aren't accepting the work, you’re rejecting the work.

And, by rejecting the work, you are also rejecting everything good that can come from it.

Facing the truth around why the results are the way that they are is never easy to look at or hear.

Except as long as we continue to keep our heads buried in the sand, we delay our ability to help others and the people we help experinece transformation.

The Two Things That Keep You From Result-Producing Actions

From my own experience and solopreneurs I help, the things that get in the way of taking goal-aligned and result-producing actions are around these two things:

1. the thoughts you think and 2) the feelings you feel towards the things you need to be doing to grow your business.

Years ago, I had a baking business and people would call me to place their orders for special events.

The process was simple: they call me, I take their order, they pay, new event on the books.

Except I didn’t like being on the phone with people.

It made me feel anxious, so getting a new event on the calendar became a big emotional undertaking.

At the time, I only knew getting on the phone made my body feel a certain way; anxious.

I didn’t know that was the feeling I was experiencing at the time because I didn’t know yet how to name them.

All I know was that I didn’t want to get on the phone because my body had very strong feelings that it wasn’t something I wanted to do.

And, because I felt this way, I would hesitate to take the calls when they would come in.

I also knew that if I didn’t take the calls, then the rest of the process certainly wouldn’t happen.

I didn't know I actually had thoughts connected to feeling anxious.

I assumed getting on the phone was responsible for making me feel anxious.

So, naturally, I wanted to avoid it.

What I didn’t know was that I had thoughts about getting on the phone to take orders that made me feel anxious.

Feelings Alone Are Not Responsible For Your Actions

Feelings are part of why you do/don’t do things the way that you do.

It’s part of why you say/don’t say the things that you say.

Feelings offer insightful information if you’re curious to explore their wisdom.

But, it’s only partly responsible for your actions.

Going back to my experience, here’s how we know getting on the phone wasn’t based only by how I felt: I could get on the phone to talk to my husband or a friend and it wouldn’t make me feel anxious.

When I get on the phone to talk to my husband or a friend, it’s because I feel excitement, curiousity, or concern towards the conversation with them which compels me to.

And, I’m feeling that way because I’m thinking “I can’t wait to tell them XYZ” or “I want to hear how they’re doing” or “they’re calling because they have something important to tell me”.

From a place of excitement, curiosity, or concern, I don’t hesitate to be on the phone with them.

Now, if I had a disagreement with either of them prior to the call, I might think “I don’t want to get on this call” or “this conversation isn’t going to be awkward and not go well” or “I’m a disappointment to them” or “I’m not loved anymore” which would make me feel dread around going into the call.

The point is, getting on the phone wasn’t the reason I felt a certain way.

Instead, it was the thought about getting on the phone that created the feeling that either compelled me or made me hesitant going into the call.

So, as I reflect back on why I would hesitate or experience extreme resistance at being on the phone with potential clients, it was because of these thoughts:

• “I’ll disappoint them if I create something that doesn’t live up to what they have in their mind. They’ll tell everyone they know and I’ll be out of business.”

• “I’ll tell them the price of the project and they’ll be upset at the amount and say mean things.”

• “My style and creativity won’t be what they’re looking for and they’ll go somewhere else.”

These thoughts produced strong feelings of anxiousness, insecurity, and inadequacy which (rightfully so!) made me terrified to answer calls!

Your Business Building Thoughts

When it comes to building your business, you likely have some thoughts.

Thoughts that are generating feelings and a lot of resistance towards doing the activities your business requires for growth.

Check out some of the thoughts you might be having towards certain areas in your business:

Your business requires you to meet and connect with people.

This means interacting with people you know/don't know, online or offline.

You resist doing this because you might think:

• “I’ll look stupid" which makes you feel fearful of making a mistake

• “I don't know what I'm doing” which makes you feel overwhelmed and anxious

• “I’ll get asked something I don’t know the answer to like: what do you do?” which makes you feel afraid, insecure, and doubtful

• “I'm going to be judged harshly" which makes you feel fearful of the criticism

• “I don't fit in” which makes you feel isolated and awkward

• “It’s a waste of time” which makes you feel uninterested

Your business requires you to let people know what you do.

This means telling people you know/don't know, online or offline, what you do.

You hesitate or hold back from saying anything because you might think:

• “I’ll look like I want something from them if I bring up my business during the conversation” which makes you feel cautious and concerned

• “No one's interested in hearing about me or my business" which makes you feel discouraged

• “I'm a fraud and it's only a matter of time until people find out" which makes you feel insecure

• “I'm going to say the wrong thing and ruin their experience" which makes you feel worried

• “I won't know how to answer: how's business?” which makes you feel anxious

Your business requires you to demonstrate your expertise.

This means showing people you know/don't know, online or offline, that you are knowledgeable about what you're doing.

You keep all your valuable knowledge to yourself because you might think:

• “I don't have enough experience" which makes you feel unqualified

• “I'm not an expert" which makes you feel inadequate and uncertain

• “I'm not as smart as others" which makes you feel insecure and self-critical

• “I don't make any/enough money so no one will listen to me or take me seriously” which makes you feel insecure and insignificant

• “I don't want to look like a know-it-all" which makes you feel cautious

Your business requires you to make offers.

This means offering people you know/don't know, online or offline, your help and letting them know they can work with you.

You refrain from letting others know you can help them because you might think:

• “My price is too low/high” which makes you feel uncertain and fearful of rejection

• “I don't want to be salesy" which makes you feel concerned about coming off insincere

• “I don’t know if I can get them results” which makes you feel apprehensive and concerned

• “I have nothig to offer” which makes you feel worthless and inadequate

• “No one wants to buy from me” which makes you feel awkward and discouraged

When you connect how your thoughts influence your feelings, you can then see how your feelings create resistance towards the actions you take/don’t take in your business.

This gives you a clearer understanding around why you’re experiencing the results you have.

And, the more clarity you have, the more control you get to take back.

Pushing Through

When it comes to pushing through the discomfort and resistance you feel towards the things you need to do in your business, the answer does require a new thought.

But, it doesn’t require just any thought.

It requires a thought that is believable.

It requires a thought that also generates a feeling that feels good enough to your body to take action more aligned with the results you’re seeking.

This might look like going from “I don’t know what I’m doing” when it comes to connecting and meeting people (which makes you feel overwhelmed and anxious) to “I don’t know what I’m doing, but I can figure it out” (which makes you feel hopeful).

It’s a slight shift from the original thought and holds more weight in being believable, but it’s not so big and far-fetched like “I know EXACTLY what I’m doing” which might feel completely untrue and unbelievable, at least for right now.

But, knowing what’s possible is encouraging!

All it takes is guidance and practice.

Remember, you are rewiring DECADES of programmed thoughts.

As you start to be more intentional with your thought creation, it’s important to keep in mind that new thoughts and feelings don’t replace the original ones; they work alongside each other.

That means, you’ll still feel the original feeling (each time it comes up - yes, it will come up multiple times!) while you build new pathways for a new thought and feeling to exist.

The best news it that as you continue to practice and apply it, you simply get more efficient at reaching the new thought and feeling you’re creating with purpose.

Imagine the results tied to these new thoughts!

Decide that you will find the thoughts necessary to support those results.

You already have proof of doing that because you’ve already done it to get this far.

Time to rinse and repeat, friend.

Boldly,

Lynne xo