When You Feel Unqualified

Back when I used to make custom cakes and cupcakes for special events, I wasn’t trained as a professional baker.

I didn’t have a culinary degree.

I didn’t go to a pastry chef school.

I didn’t have a commercial bakery.

And, it didn't stop people from hiring me for their events.

They hired me because I had a skill.

They wanted me to use this skill to help them for a special event.

They trusted this skill because I demonstrated I knew how to use it well.

I wasn’t the only one in the world with this skill.

There are so many others with more experience and training than I had.

Yet, people wanted to pay me for the way I used the skill.

Did I ever feel unqualified? Yes.

Did I ever feel like an imposter? Yes.

This week, I’m talking about how I built a past business I wasn’t professionally trained for with one thing.

When it comes to feeling unqualified, your brain positions a gap between where you are and what you believe (or think) is required in order for a certain result to happen: “In order for X, I need to have/be Y.”

• “In order for people to take me seriously, I need to have years of experience.”

• “In order for people to pay me, I need to have all my systems figured out.”

• “In order for people to trust me, I need to be an expert.”

You have this belief that unless you have Y, then X won’t happen:

• “Unless I have years of experience, people won’t take me seriously.”

• “Unless I have all my systems figured out, people won’t pay me.”

• “Unless I’m an expert, people won’t trust me.”

Because you’re locked into all-or-nothing thinking, it has you spinning in circles.

It’s either this way or none at all.

And, when anyone shows any sort of interest in your business, your brain is sure to keep with the cycle.

So, it takes any and all information it can grab to reaffirm the original belief “in order for X, I need to have/be Y”.

Say you meet someone at an event.

They ask what you do so you tell them briefly about your business.

“Oh, that’s so cool! I’ve been thinking about [insert the thing that makes your business relevant to them]!”

• “…I’ve been thinking about updating my brand photos!”

• “…I’ve been thinking about redoing my website!”

• “…I’ve been thinking about selling my house in the next couple of months!”

• “…I’ve been thinking about wanting to travel more!”

• “…I’ve been thinking about getting a facial done!”

Your brain gets a dopamine hit from this interaction because it validates the skill you have is valuable, people want it, and you want to be the person who helps them!

Your posture changes.

You feel on top of the world!

Your brain starts to fantasize over what this new client means to you and your business.

As the days and weeks go by, you hear nothing. They don’t reach out. Everything goes silent. There’s no interaction.

And, since the event, your brain has been working overtime to fit the puzzle pieces into the original belief.

It does this by telling you a story that the reason it’s a problem is because of you: “If you were Y, then this wouldn’t have happened.”

So, you start solving the math on yourself: “if I was…”

• certified/credentialed

• more experienced/knowledgeable/skilled

• better at sales

• more outgoing

• etc…

…then this wouldn’t have happened.”

You believe that if you did have/were those things, this really wouldn’t have happened because according to your original belief: “In order for X, I need to have/be Y.”

And, round-and-round we go.

While it feels incredibly true, when this happens, it’s important to know nothing has gone wrong.

This is the work of a healthy brain doing its job.

Except, for the kind of results you want, staying in this line of thinking won’t help you get there.

Here’s what I mean by that...

When you follow your brain down the rabbit hole, you pursue the certifications, extra credentialing, and even show up to the networking events talking your face off thinking it’s the magic pill to the problem.

That if you do/have those things, you’ll escape the uncomfortable experience entirely.

What you’ll come to find out is even after all that, people will still have reasons they decide not to work with you.

That’s because the actual problem isn’t rooted in what you don’t have.

It’s rooted in creating and deepening your belief in what you do have.

When I baked for special events, it would have been easy for me to believe that I couldn’t have a meaningful business because I wasn’t professionally trained.

Or, that I couldn’t hold my own against other bakeries in the marketplace because I didn’t have a storefront, employees, commercial equipment, or the space to produce in large batches.

That’s not to say I didn’t have those moments.

There were many times I felt unqualified to take on wedding orders that included 12+ dozen custom decorated cupcakes, a cutting cake, and other dessert table items as a single business owner.

I felt unqualified when I was approached by Moffett Field, Tango, Cisco, TiVo, UPS, and other large name companies to create masterpieces for their events.

I felt unqualified when I showed up to an event and the cake shifted and started to fall apart on the ride over.

I felt unqualified when I overslept by 3 hours, the order due in 8 hours, and nothing started.

And, despite not having the professional qualifications or the full setup of a commercial bakery, people still wanted to work with me.

Why?

Because I had a skill.

And, I was willing to show everyone I could help them with that skill and letting that be enough.

Being enough is rooted in belief.

When something is enough, you don't try to change it.

Even if you compared something to it, you wouldn't waste any time sizing it up because it wouldn't matter.

You accept it at face value without question.

And, when the belief is strong, people can say no and it won't bother you.

You have areas in your life and business you don't question.

And, you have other areas where you are still building the belief that it can be enough.

If you can focus on work in one area, let it be around building your belief in you.

Because when you believe something is enough, the gap where you are and what you believe (or think) is required in order for a certain result to happen doesn't exist.

So, you bridge the gap by deepening your belief.

Belief in what you do have, not what you don't.

Boldly,

Lynne xo