Worried About Being Judged

It’s hard to grow a business when you’re worried about being judged.

When you worry about being judged, you respond in two main ways:

1. You resist doing any activities where judgment can occur.

2. You do the activities, but you people-please your way through to avoid any judgment.

When you resist doing any activities where judgment can occur, you:

• avoid going to that local networking group because you’ll be judged for how well you fit in and how you answer “what do you do” and “how’s business”.

• hesitate creating content to demonstrate your expertise because you’ll be judged for not knowing enough, having enough experience, or being qualified to talk about the subject.

• resist bringing up your business in conversation with friends because you’ll be judged for wanting something from them.

• chronically consume and over-educate yourself on information before taking any action because you’ll be judged for not having everything figured out.

Or, when you do the activities, you people-please your way through to avoid any judgment:

• When you’re in conversation with someone you can help, you hold back from letting them know you can because you don’t want them to feel weird or like they’re being sold to.

• When you’re talking with a potential client, you underprice your offer because you don’t want them to say “no” or tell you you’re “charging too much”.

• When you want to tell your potential client the truth about their problem, you keep it to yourself instead because you don’t want them to feel discouraged or defeated by the truth.

• When you tell your client that they can reach out to you anytime, you don't set boundaries because you don’t want them to feel upset or disappointed with you in any way.

Building your business this way reinforces the need to stay hyper-vigilant, delegate your self-worth to others, abandon self-trust, and perform under your potential.

When you spin in this circle, you also avoid creating and thinking new thoughts, working through the worry, resistance, and people-pleasing, and taking actions that support your business goals.

Since interacting with people is required to reach your business goals, you need to ask yourself:

1. Do you want to be in business?

2. Do you want your worry about being judged to control your results?

You are already living the outcome of both.

Are you really okay with this?

Answer that honestly.

There’s no judgment.

If you are unhappy with what you’re experiencing and letting go of your business isn’t an option, then the only solution is working through the judgment of others that worries you so much.

If you don’t want to be worried about being judged, you have to:

1. Identify the thoughts you think people are having about you.

2. Identify the feelings each of those thoughts stir up.

3. List out the things you do/don’t do when you feel that way.

4. Understand why it’s important for you to have this under control.

5. List out the things you want to be able to do with ease (and stop doing!) that move you closer to your goal when you do have this under control.

6. Identify the feelings you need to feel to support those actions.

7. Identify the thoughts you need to think to create those feelings.

8. Be okay with being judged.

   • You have to be okay trying something new and getting it wrong.

   • You have to be okay stumbling through your words.

   • You have to be okay being seen by others.

   • You have to be okay being misunderstood.

   • You have to be okay feeling uncomfortable and doing it all anyways.

This doesn’t get mastered overnight.

It gets mastered with time and continued, regular effort.

The other point worth noting is that the judgments you think other people are having of you, are really a projection of the judgments you have about yourself.

This is because when you think about how others will judge you for how you fit in and answer questions about your business, you’re really judging yourself for how you’ll fit in and answer questions about your business.

When you think about how others will judge you for what you know based on your posts, you’re really judging yourself for what you know based on how you post.

When you think about how others will judge you for wanting something from them, you’re really judging yourself for wanting something from them.

The thoughts you think others are having are simply the thoughts you’re having about yourself.

Change your thoughts, change your results.

It doesn't have to be perfect, you just need to start.

Boldly,

Lynne xo