Your Circumstances Don't Control Your Results

When it comes to creating any sort of results, your circumstances are never a contributing factor.

Imagine yourself in a management position and everyone is scheduled to start work at 9am.

You have one employee, Jane, who has a habit of being late with the reasons being a different flavor of:

• “The alarm didn’t go off.”

• “The traffic was really bad today.”

• “All the lights were red.”

• “There was a slow driver.”

• I couldn’t find my keys.”

• “My son wasn’t ready for daycare.”

• “The car was low on gas.”

Jane is an amazing worker once she’s settled in and focused.

She produces stellar work and is incredibly valuable to the team.

You understand that life isn’t predictable and things happen, but the tardiness is really starting to become an issue and cannot be overlooked anymore.

Jane is clearly struggling with managing her time effectively and it’s effecting their ability to be at work when she’s scheduled.

You know her tardiness isn’t because of her circumstances:

• the alarm

• the traffic

• the traffic lights

• the other drivers

• the missing keys

• the readiness of her son

• the gas

It’s her. She is the reason she’s late.

The problem is Jane believes her circumstances are the reasons she’s late — not her.

She’s caught up in life happening to her each morning that she can’t see how she’s the creator and contributor to her own suffering.

This keeps her from effectively solving the problem she’s in.

As her manager, an outsider to her experience, you can see clear as day what’s going on.

Being a parent while having work responsibilities yourself, you can empathize with what Jane’s going through. You know it takes some intentional effort to be at work early and on time.

You are an example of that.

You know it’s possible to do once you clean up the things that would make you late.

While there are always things outside of your control, you can minimize their effect by taking responsibility for what you can control.

Jane isn’t a unicorn with a unicorn situation.

She’s experiencing life just like you are except with some different variables.

You can have compassion for everything that she’s experiencing while also acknowledging that it’s her responsbility to:

• make sure her alarm is set

• leave early enough that takes traffic, the lights, and other drivers into consideration

• keep her keys in the same place

• prep her son and whatever he needs ahead of time

• ensure being low on gas is never an issue

The truth is becoming better at anything takes time and practice.

The awareness of the role we play in our suffering is not only vital to becoming better at achieving a certain result (in Jane’s case being at work on time), but proper guidance is necessary to support the change.

In order for Jane to make lasting changes when it comes to time-management, there are FIVE things she has to do:

1. Create awareness around the part she plays in her own suffering.
   As long as Jane continues to believe her circumstances are the reason she can’t get to work on time, she has no control over the outcome. She releases any power and responsibility she has over changing this habit effectively and permanently.

2. Decide the work to change the habit is worth pursuing.
   Awareness is vital, but it has no influence on results without application. Jane needs to decide this work is worth doing and then actually doing the work.

3. Reframe her thoughts about her circumstances that give her responsibility, control, and power over the outcome.
   Since Jane’s used her alarm, traffic, keys, son, and gas as reasons for being late, it’s important for her to reframe her thoughts about them that place her in an empowering position.

   • “The alarm didn’t go off.” — “I have to double check my alarm is set the night before."

   • “The traffic was really bad today.” — “I need to leave early enough because there’s traffic.”

   • “All the lights were red.” — “Red lights are part of the drive to work. I can leave earlier if this bothers me.”

   • “There was a slow driver.” — “There will be slower drivers. I can only control how I drive.”

   • “I couldn’t find my keys.” — “I will keep my keys in the same place where I can always find them.”

   • “My son wasn’t ready for daycare.” — “I can make a list and pack what he needs ahead of time.”

   • “The car was low on gas.” — “I don’t let my car go under 50 miles without gassing up.”

4. Start by focusing on one specific non-negotiable action.
   There are a lot of actions that Jane could take that would help her be more on time for work. To do them all can be overwhelming so it’s important that Jane focuses on one specific non-negotiable action that gives her the best chance at achieving the result. Let’s say that in the morning, it takes Jane a total of 30 minutes to drop her son to daycare and be at work for any given morning. Adding in an additional 15 minute buffer will not only ensure she gets to work on time, but it will also give her the opportunity to transition into the workspace without rushing. And, on the days where traffic might be a little heavier, the buffer covers that. So, to achieve the result of being on time, the one specific non-negotiable action Jane might have is to be in the car and pulling out of the driveway by 8:15a. This allows for the 30 minute total commute time (daycare included) plus 15 minutes of buffer time. The leave time of 8:15a is specific and non-negotiable. It means that no matter where she is at in her process in the morning, that’s the one action she is adhering to regardless.

5. Practice, practice, practice.
   For someone who struggles with time-management, the first week of leaving by 8:15a will be a challenge for Jane. While the leave time is non-negotiable, it is the only thing Jane needs to focus on. The real work is managing her mind when she thinks she needs more time (or doesn’t feel ready) and has to leave anyways. Sticking to the specific non-negotiable action will not only create consistency in one thing, but it will also help her to refine where else in her routine she can clean up to get closer at being where she wants to be when 8:15a rolls around.

Now, think about the result it is that you want for yourself.

How are you being “Jane” in your own story?

Where are you creating and perpectuating your own suffering?

Whether it’s time-management, perfectionism, people-pleasing, creating content, making offers… see where this applies to your situation.

How can you take back your power so you can have more say over your results?

Because awareness is vital, but it has no influence on results without application.

Boldly,

Lynne xo